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Valentines Day Nightmares, Served Straight From The Waitstaff

Ahhh, St. Valentines Day, the moment when Careless Whisper is played on repeat as a clown juggles golden retriever puppies in a field of thorny red roses.

Whoops. I’m describing my nightmare from last night.

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But for many, Valentines Day may include an epic meal at an epic restaurant. Reservations are slim and competed for weeks in advance, gifts are presented (hopefully not inside of the dessert), and every other plate might be topped off with caviar, theatrically presented as the waiter makes it rain with truffle shavings, and maybe, just maybe, there’s musical entertainment that you may or may not be into.

Here’s the thing: If you’ve ever waited tables, worked as a host or bartender in the front of house at a restaurant, Valentines Day can truly be a preview to the gates of hell. For every sweet and polite couple, there’s more than a few that have the ability to shock the service staff, piss off the kitchen, or destroy restaurant equipment (broken glasses, tables, etc.) in the process of their love filled celebration and/or breakup.

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So on tonight’s episode of U Look Hungry, it’s time for story-telling from some wise former waiters who have worked at some of the top restaurants in New York City. Tune in today, Thursday February 14th, 2013 at 6 pm (EST) sharp as you’ll get to hear some spectacular tales and tidbits of nightmare customers, kitchen disasters, and so much more.

Is the customer always right? Is your hostess hitting on your, or is she just trying to be friendly and do her job? Is it cool to make out in the corner of the establishment? All this, and so much more, only on the Heritage Radio Network.

A SPECIAL NOTE TO YOU, DEAR LISTENERS: I LOVE YOU. YOU SHOULD CALL IN AND SHARE YOUR TALE(S) OF DINING NIGHTMARES ON VALENTINES AND BEYOND. YOU CAN REACH US LIVE AT 6 PM BY DIALING: (718) 497*2128 TO WEIGH IN ON OUR STORY-TELLING.

If you find yourself too busy de-thorning those roses (wear some gloves), take your time and listen to the interview at your leisure by downloading the (free) iTunes version of the radio interview here.

Whatever you do, use caution when eating dessert tonight. No one needs to choke on diamonds.



This is why RedBull is banned in the UK.

No that is not Sinead O’Connor. But I’m not certain this gal didn’t perform on Broadway at some point in her career. 



I still don’t understand the internet. Here’s why. 

I still don’t understand the internet. Here’s why

(Source: weenieeater)



Oh my Bieber.

Keep this dude far far away from Kinkos.



Do you sharpen your kitchen knives? Probably not as much as these dudes. Or waste as much meat, like meat inside of a boot (wait for it at minute 2:40). 



Who knew that Ron Popeil was such a babe/has been the mastermind behind so many culinary inventions for-e-ver.



Narcolepsy and Food Never Paired So Well Together.

My birthday is only a few months away, and I’ve never wanted to smell like pizza more than this moment. Upon a recent Etsy saunter, I discovered the pizza sleeping bag:

What if you could sleep in a waffle, wrap yourself in a cannoli, or rest your dogs on a baked potato? Well my friend, your dreams have just come true.

If you know what’s good for you, go shop at the Etsy Store, B FIBER & CRAFT EMPORIUM

Sweet and savory dreams.



Is that Tobias Funke giving out a bible lesson? I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at a donut the same way again. 



A Lazy Paean to Gallagher.

I miss summer, the eighties, watermelons, bad hair cuts and unattractive outfits. Most of all, I miss Gallagher in his prime. 

      

                   

How has competitive eating made it to ESPN, but food smashing hasn’t? What if they were competed for, side by side in real time? Would that be too post-modern of a concept?